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Translate the lingo and the following would not be out of place in one of those ‘speciality’ stores you find in modern day Soho. Behind closed doors it turns out folk in the Restoration era were a naughty bunch, and like many of us had an interest in brushing up on their bedroom skills.

Warning: Graphic content!


The School of Venus, or the Ladies Delight Reduced into Rules of Practice was originally written by an anonymous French author and published in English in 1680.

The 166-page manual aimed to elucidate the “this mysterie of fucking”, and was so startlingly graphic that MP and diarist Samuel Pepys burned his copy immediately after furtively reading it. School Of Venus has been digitized by Google Books, which means we can now present to you the highlights. It truly is enough to make E.L.James blush!

1. So, your name is ‘Katy’ and you are new to this game. Luckily for you ‘Frank’ is on hand to give you a quick anatomy lesson.


2. Now you know the basics make sure you stay safe.


3. Stay protected – the natural way…


4. If you really aren’t getting anywhere and want to seal the deal then just give the lady a compliment. Apparently it really is that easy…!

(Note to every single woman out there: If you hear any of these lines from a man you have known for less than an hour please run a mile)


5. Erm, ‘manual’ stimulation…


6. French Kissing: ‘Katy’ and ‘Frank’ obviously aren’t interested in playing by the rules and leave first base to the finale.


7. Stock up on Potamum (17th Century hair oil)


8. Compliments are unnecessary, ‘I would not have her…deny him when he demands’. Hmm perhaps this is where we differ after all. Sorry men, but you don’t rule the world anymore.


For you naughty ones who would like to read more (and see PICTURES) please find the full text here: School of Venus